looking up

Spent the afternoon reviewing my bro’s termpaper. I thought I’d lost the flair to write since I finished school. Writing the blog did not help my confidence because it’s mostly on mundane stuff. Helping my bro with his essay brought back some of the joy of writing and reassured me that with a topic in mind, I can still form an argument and write pretty coherently..

oh well, i did win in mahjong on friday and things are lookin up over the weekend. i'll have to be more watchful about what i do and say and be more conscious of other people's feelings.

Today I met with Ann ArrowSmith, a hotelier again, after about 2 years. social meeting. she's inspiring and doesn't eat meat - environmentalist. We had a great talk about taking care of the environment and I'm suddenly very proud of my meow because he's in the water recycling business. We really need people like him to go around the world and clean up all the dirty water and oil we produce. I really hope i can do more. I guess i'll travel and drive less to do my little bit. Oh, and throw away less...

bad patch

there comes a time, now and then, that i hit a bad patch. Things i do are dotted with errors here and there, and no matter what i say, somebody takes offense. If i keep quiet, people become hostile to me.

This is in stark contrast to times when i'm basking in popularity, when i get everything done perfectly and i even can spare the time and energy to look out for others. Good times lasted for the past six months and i hope this bad patch will be over soon.

Don't know if it's psychological so i keep telling myself, "bad patch is over, bad patch is over".

Actually, to really put a finger on it, the bad patch started when i was shooting incredible tales. From the moment my co-actor stained my t-shirt with red paint, things went downhill. i went to discuss with the ‘ghost’ to ensure that he won’t touch me anywhere other than my neck, and I believe it offended him.... and his makeup artist.

At the end of the shoot, waving a breezy goodbye to the crew, for some reason, director, assistant director etc etc all ignored (or didn’t happen to see) me.
Then I got bad news about work (unfairly appraised). Even my bf’s secretary (who called to ask me some information) who used to be on good terms with me, got mad at me when I jokingly sms her back, to ask her if “when boss is not around, monkey is the king”? … She asked who I’m calling a monkey and then asked me to have a good weekend.

And I lost in Mahjong over and over again last Friday… never been this bad.

That’s it!!! TGIF: this evening, after work, my luck will change. I’ll win in mahjong and everyone will like me again.

Pink and white stripe vest done

It's friday again, and exactly 1 week from when i started the pink vest... and it's done despite my sporadic knitting! it looks really good. Now i'm confident to start on the vest my meow's mom ordered.

Finally at peace with myself with regards to work, after 2 weeks of struggle. Life is unfair and people are biased and all in all i got a good deal, so why fret?

Haven't exercised for a week. Lethargy is the killer. I can't wait for another upcoming show to fuel myself up to slim down. It's usually too late by then.. Have to keep in shape all the time. 1 kg to dissolve. Ah... the struggle is endless!

Beautiful house is beckoning to me. Moving time again in mid-November. All should be well. the 3 kids cannot wait for the extra space.

Yesterday found nicki sleeping in Meow's wash basin. Poor kid... looked so abandoned.

Meow is coming back tomorrow 6am from Beijing after 4 days. Poor meow, too much travelling. Glad it's not me doing the flying about.

revolution. now!

Starting on a vest for myself. Pink and white stripe. Suddenly inspired by this book called Hollywood knits which promotes big needles, think yarn and quick knitting up.

Sometime ago, I was obsessed with thin needles. For the past couple of months I’ve been knitting with thin needles, thin yarn. Progress was slow and I was frustrated. Now I’m left with 1 thin needle project to finish – my mom’s cardigan… and I’m DONE WITH THIN NEEDLES!

One knitting blogger claim that the project reflects the person you are knitting it for. Quite true.

Today I gave to the colleague sitting next to me a leg blanket to keep her warm in the office. I started the blanket unsure of whether it will end up on her legs. To give or not to give, that was the constant question. Generally, she does not like to accept favors – a packet of dog food I gave her dog was politely rejected. Knitting was not easy, but was smooth. A few mistakes here and there, but was swiftly corrected. That’s how I feel about her.

Mom’s cardigan: thin yarn, thin needles. It’s easy on the fingers, but the time taken is long. Not a project that I look forward to picking up, but constantly on my mind. The project is admired by all who sees it but my mom is not that impressed yet.

Mahjong tonight! All should be looking up from now.

recognition

Just when all seem bleak… just when one thinks that one is not recognized; unfairly accessed; penalized for nothing… one receive an acknowledgement… Though subtle, the uplifting power is substantial.

Sillyhead: “Don’t think people up there think I’m doing a good job”
Sillyhead’s direct boss: “Who say?”

Enough said. Life is good again.

shooting incredible tales

Finally done. 2 weeks of anticipation and a short three days of shoot which passed without much excitement.

As the so called lead role, i had a pretty juicy role and spent lots of thought on how i want to bring out the character. Finally decided to play it cool: pillar of strength in a dysfunctional family. Could have done it big eyed, innocent, scared, helpless...but oh well... have to appeal to the greater audience.

Scariest scene was when the demon descended from the ceiling to strangle me. The look of shock when i woke up from my fake sleep to see the demon was not acting - the make up artiste really did a great job and the demon actor was a pro at looking scary, not withstanding that fact that he must have been in great pain from dangling on a cable.

proud of myself. one more down.

to be or not to be studying

At a crossroad. To carry on like i do now will mean a pay increase of $50 a year. To job hop i need a finance degree. MBA seems more and more like a necessity. To earn an MBA means higher aspiration and busier work life. More responsibility means no more acting, less time for the family.

To be... or not to be... studying?

BF's parents

THEY ARE HERE! haha... no lah. Not that scary.

In fact, his mom's very nice and his dad's very understanding so it's like having a 2nd set of parents... except of course, they are not as "philosophical" as my own.

today was a mad rush to finish work and go home to keep them company and get them some dinner as bf had meeting till 10pm. Luckily i've gotten my ride in the afternoon.

Lunch was a crazy affair! went with the knitting girls from the company to spotlight to attend the sale! and What a SALE! Bought yarn at $1.60 a ball! 2 of us bought 10 balls each.. beautiful beautiful yarn... ah.. heaven...

Home

Lunch today was a knitting session with Janie, LayHoon, Alice, Margarite. Everybody wants to do a triangle shawl. Haha.. six months later, we should see 5 triangle shawls around the office!

It's a tough project for beginners but the girls persevered.

Got myself a new ride. tomorrow i'll be driving again! phew.

Running dry of things to say on blog. Maybe due to having more work to takle in the office now i'm left with less time to ponder and think.