bad shoot

i'm losing it i'm losing it!


I'm no longer happy going for shoots. I hate myself. i'm fat i'm dark and i'm ugly.

It all started off with the bad makeup. Makeup artiste is from HK.. oh please. she did my makeup in 5 mins. I don't think she cares. Totally unlike what the previous SG makeup artiste used to do! Given today's standard, I might as well have done it myself.

It is a struggle everytime i shoot now. When i used to go for shoots every other week, the crew and cast and director used to be very friendly to me and i was "good news" when they had a long day and wanted a speedy shoot.

Now, nobody knows me anymore. AP is new, director is new. They treat me like a comman part-timer when i step onto the set and are rather rude to me. Tonight especially, the director treated me like an imbecile.

Only when the camera started rolling that they realized that i'm not a camera idiot. Seven years of experience, thank you.

Eventually, people become nice. They start to be friendlier and more courteous. At the end of the shoot, i earned a "thank you" from the director. Thank YOU!

Nevertheless, i still think i look fat, and dark, and ugly. Buck up! Buck UP! ok.. hihi suntan lotion, facecream that has migrated to the far end of the closet... GYM! Here i come again!